Tell me I'm not crazy
I enjoyed my elementary education for the most part, but there was one teacher who will always haunt my memory. Mrs. Verdell was someone whom every kid wanted to please. Not necessarily because she deserved respect, but because she was an adult, and always had something to say. Kids hang onto the words of adults like lifelines in the middle of a sea. The world is a very confusing place for a kid growing up, and all they have to guide them is what adults say and do. Until kids someday come across the startling realization that not everything an adult says or does is from the fount of all wisdom, they tend to assume that adults can do no wrong. Sometimes that’s not so good. Mrs. Verdell taught art to all third and fourth graders, and so twice a week it was my class’s turn to file into the four by eight feet wooden-walled art room and learn how to use crayons and markers and properly administer liquid glue (a drop will do). Sometimes she would twist mannequins into a lifelike positi...
Alrighty Emi, this story has literally quintupled in size since I peer-edited it for you, and I really like it. First question, did you purposefully add more people with names starting with J just because I complained about it while peer-editing? Because there are more!
ReplyDeleteOther than that, I love where you’ve taken the story. I know originally, you weren’t planning to use Jesus as a character, but I love how you’ve woven stories from Mark into Deborah’s own life. I think my favorite scene was probably your retelling of the healing of the paralyzed man, with Deborah’s father as one of the stretcher bearers. I found that very clever. I guess the only thing I think you could change would be more focus on the demon, who’s become less of a character than it was in your original draft. Overall, this is really cool though, Emi. Good job.