Demon in Capernaum

Demon in Capernaum

Semester Final Short Story

Enjoy

Comments

  1. Elizabeth TMay 14, 2020 at 11:39 AM

    Alrighty Emi, this story has literally quintupled in size since I peer-edited it for you, and I really like it. First question, did you purposefully add more people with names starting with J just because I complained about it while peer-editing? Because there are more!
    Other than that, I love where you’ve taken the story. I know originally, you weren’t planning to use Jesus as a character, but I love how you’ve woven stories from Mark into Deborah’s own life. I think my favorite scene was probably your retelling of the healing of the paralyzed man, with Deborah’s father as one of the stretcher bearers. I found that very clever. I guess the only thing I think you could change would be more focus on the demon, who’s become less of a character than it was in your original draft. Overall, this is really cool though, Emi. Good job.

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