Please see Ross
Jason Taylor is a guy we
can get behind. He’s interesting and his thoughts and antics make us laugh. His
shortcomings endeared him to me. I remember reading the start of the chapter Maggot where Jason was being bullied and
outcasted for his stammer and exclaiming to Nika, “I hate Ross Wilcox so much!” I know I wasn’t the only one who
wanted Jason to rise up and tell Ross Wilcox to stuff it, winning the respect
of the school and the heart of Dawn Madden (whom he would then reject because
he realized he deserves respect).
That’s why I felt that
little rush of justice when Jason found Ross Wilcox’s wallet and then Dawn
dumped Ross. The image of Ross’ dumb miserable face in my mind (I pictured him looking like Reese from Malcolm in the Middle) was a sweet one, as I thought Jason is rich now! Ross has fallen! Justice
is served! Rah rah rah! It was a perfect blow to Ross—the rich bully lost
his allowance, learned he can’t treat people badly, feels like an idiot, etc.
We all know that wasn’t
the case, though.
As the book progressed we
learned that Ross was holding onto his family’s entire savings so that his
father could continue to commit tax evasion. We learned that his father had a
habit of beating his family, so much so that his mother had left. Now, Ross was
legitimately afraid of being beaten to the point of death.
These realizations were like pieces of a
puzzle falling into place in my mind. Afterwards, I felt pretty bad and hated myself and the world because it’s all so fucked up.
Here’s a person that I
was so ready to hate, who I reveled in my hatred of, and everyone also hated
because he makes other peoples’ lives hard. Well peel back one layer and you
find that he’s viciously abused at home and that’s all he’s ever known. I can
only imagine how lost a person with that must be. He never had anyone on his
side. It’s so easy for me to forget that my parent’s guidance has always been behind
me, a promise of support if I ever start to fall. It is a confirmation that I
am loved without conditions, and that’s a human need. Ross grew up being told
that he is a burden. He has no safe place, and all he has known, all he has
been taught, is abuse. He’s stuck in that cycle of abuse.
More often than not,
children from abusive households never overcome the cycle. What we learn in our
childhoods stay with us for life—ruin us for life, in some ways. Chances are
Ross will grow into a man who abuses his wife and kids himself. Now I look back
on all the times he made Jason’s life hard and I realize that he’s just doing
what he’s always been taught. I think that judging him for not "choosing" to do the right things is akin to judging a person with no training for being bad at
ballet. The reality is that Ross’ life has been miserable and lonely. Quite
likely it always will be.
When Jason gave Ross his
wallet back, no strings attached, it was something Ross had no experience with.
It was a gesture of kindness without an expectation of something in return,
which probably doesn’t come around often in an abusive household.
So I remember exclaiming
my hatred for Ross Wilcox and now I hate myself for it. All he has known is
suffering. I hate this stupid world for all its corruption and misery. The reason I
believe in God is because that’s the only hope I can find that it’s possible to
fight the selfishness and brokenness that consumes everything.
I think that Ross's background doesn't excuse his actions but I do feel sorry for him. His father beat his family and his home life was horrible. I hated Ross for what he did for Jason but I would've never wanted Ross to get seriously hurt like he did. In a sense, Ross losing his leg could feel like justice or karma but to me, I just felt sad.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you; I was ready to celebrate Jason fending off the cruel tormentor Ross was. Before I learned his history. I believe there are no bad people, only people who do bad things. And if we grew up in the same conditions as Ross, we would be just as evil. So I still believe what Ross did was not okay, I can feel sorry for what he had to go through to become the way he is.
ReplyDeleteAfter learning about Ross Wilcox's history, I definetely think he's a product of his environment. I give a lot of props to David Mitchell for creating a character who we could hate so much, but then add a layer that makes us doubt everything we thought about him. However, even if someone with no training tried to do "ballet" (as you put it), he still knows what "ballet" is. You don't have to go to a studio to be a good person. So while the degree of hatred I had for Ross Wilcox has subsided a bit, I still hate that he needed to resort to such extreme measures to feel okay about himself.
ReplyDeleteI really admired Jason for giving the wallet back to Ross. I hated him from just reading about him, so Jason, having undergone his harassment and torment, must have hated him even more. Jason showed a surprising amount of empathy and maturity when he gave it back, especially when Ross' reaction was less than satisfactory, and Jason still looked at him and thought of him as a "poor kid".
ReplyDeletePowerful blog post. Your last paragraph reminds me of Jason's outbursts and anger that the world doesn't just prioritize being kind making sense. I felt similar feelings, but i believe there is a line we can walk. This may be an example of why condemning actions over people is helpful. Saying "ross acted like a jerk" seems accurate to me now and early in the book but saying "ross is evil" or "ross is just a jerk" seems sad now that we understand him a bit more.
ReplyDeleteI agree that Ross is a much more complicated character than he seems on the surface, and I think Mitchell writes him this way intentionally. He crafts the perfect villain for our hero, who we relate to, and shows that even the people who seem like just the worst human beings are more than what's on the surface. Every (real) villain has an origin story that, while not justifying or excusing their actions, explains their actions and needs to be taken into account, and I think a lot of people don't think about that very often. Mitchell brings this to light through Ross's character.
ReplyDeleteWonderfully worded truthful post. I think one way Jason comes of age is he takes on a new mature perspective on Ross exactly like yours. By taking the high road, seeing past all of Ross's wrong doings and pitying his tormentor, Jason makes an important development in his character: He becomes above all the bullying and 'nuanced' social-political details of middle school and realizes that they ultimately don't matter.
ReplyDeleteIts Jason finally getting the concept that enemy or friend, people are dealing with things you don't know about. I think its this concept that fully allows him to see above all the bullying and torment given to him by Ross.
DeleteIt was really easy to hate Ross at first, he was your typical jerk and he was so rude to Jason that you wanted to see something bad happen to him. But then when we learn his backstory, you end up feeling like crap because it's hard to imagine someone who's so mean is actually going through his own troubles at home. I really do like the fact that Mitchell made Ross a more developed character with substance, rather than making him your typical bully.
ReplyDeleteI like how you point out that this is a cycle: Ross gets bullied by his dad, who in turn was probably bullied by someone else. These details layers to Ross and makes him more than just a 1-dimensional bully who you have a good time hating. The fact that Jason shows some kind of kindness to Ross makes him really admirable to me, as he sort of breaks the cycle.
ReplyDeleteYour discussion of Jason learning that there's more to Ross's picture than is evident on the surface puts me to mind of his Dad's late commentary on Uncle Brian--another widely disliked character who is in many ways an adult/familial version of the same kind of bullying Ross represents. Jason asks, "Dad, is Uncle Brian an idiot?" The answer, for many of us, based on "Relatives," would be YES! But Michael takes a surprisingly large-minded and generous approach: "He can *act* like one. . . . But how someone acts isn't what they are. Not necessarily. Best not to be too judgmental. Maybe there's stuff going on you don't know about."
ReplyDeleteThis is in many ways the central theme or thesis of this novel--think of how many times Jason has learned that how someone acts isn't what they are. Brian seems like a definitive jerk in a hundred different ways in "Relatives"--and last we hear, he spends much of Christmas talking trash about Jason's dad. But maybe he's grappling with insecurities of his own: he needs to put down the Taylors out of a deep-seated sense of his own inadequacy. Maybe we can say the same about "smarmy" Hugo? Or would that be going too far?
As I get older, I'm beginning to see a frustrating amount of "grey" in the world. It's easier to write people off as "bad" and "good", "black" and "white." It's easier to ignore the context and blindly hate. Or love, for that matter. It takes immense maturity to be able to admit that you can't judge someone given the context of their situation. To admit that you don't have a right to judge them.
ReplyDelete