Stephen's Raging Hormones
Maybe someone once told you that If you really want to know if you look bad, don’t ask your friends or
your family--ask a child. Children are generally unabashed and quite honest. There’s a good reason for
that: they have nothing to hide. Everything’s simpler as a child. You live life under the watchful eye of
your parents. You are never unsupervised, you are constantly guided, and curiosity is smashed beneath
the laws of behavior (in a good way). In your mind, everything makes sense. Nothing ever changes.
You know who you are and what you stand for and that is simply what will always be.
your family--ask a child. Children are generally unabashed and quite honest. There’s a good reason for
that: they have nothing to hide. Everything’s simpler as a child. You live life under the watchful eye of
your parents. You are never unsupervised, you are constantly guided, and curiosity is smashed beneath
the laws of behavior (in a good way). In your mind, everything makes sense. Nothing ever changes.
You know who you are and what you stand for and that is simply what will always be.
Of course, at some point in our lives we realize that everything is changing. It’s up to us to guide
ourselves. Then we fall completely into the dark as to who we are, what we stand for, and what the
future holds, stumbling towards any glimmer of light and grasping at things to find our way. It’s a long,
hard, frustrating journey, coming of age, and sometimes we do some pretty weird things along the way.
ourselves. Then we fall completely into the dark as to who we are, what we stand for, and what the
future holds, stumbling towards any glimmer of light and grasping at things to find our way. It’s a long,
hard, frustrating journey, coming of age, and sometimes we do some pretty weird things along the way.
And think some weird thoughts.
Like imagining grabbing some hardly familiar person on the tram and kissing them because of some
“unspoken” connection that’s possibly all in your mind?
“unspoken” connection that’s possibly all in your mind?
A couple of people thought that Stephen was being a creep in that scene. That’s not unreasonable.
But personally I can kind of relate to Stephen. He’s at an extremely vulnerable age where he has to start
thinking about all these new grown-up things. He has no experience to go off of, so all he knows is what
he has heard or read. It’s pretty likely that Stephen’s school mates have been discussing girls lately
(“so who do YOU like?”). It’s also more than possible that in all the uproarious conversations Simon
Dedalus has around his observant son, he spoke about his own “dating life” as a teenager. So maybe
Stephen is deeply convinced that having a relationship/romantic moments is essential. Couple that
with some Byron fantasies, lonely nights, and puberty, and you have a perfect recipe for a sudden
full-blown fall-and-fall-hard take-my-everything I’ve-found-the-one raging hormone driven crush.
That’s the other thing -- Stephen is just very, very hormonal. I mean, sure, it’s more complicated
than that. He’s a brooding artist and “unique” and what not. But I truly believe that a lot of Stephen’s
weird fantasies and depressive mood swings are because his body is going through changes, and
his cerebral judgement center is saturating in a brainy fluid pool of level-ten Romeo and Juliet
style hormones.
But personally I can kind of relate to Stephen. He’s at an extremely vulnerable age where he has to start
thinking about all these new grown-up things. He has no experience to go off of, so all he knows is what
he has heard or read. It’s pretty likely that Stephen’s school mates have been discussing girls lately
(“so who do YOU like?”). It’s also more than possible that in all the uproarious conversations Simon
Dedalus has around his observant son, he spoke about his own “dating life” as a teenager. So maybe
Stephen is deeply convinced that having a relationship/romantic moments is essential. Couple that
with some Byron fantasies, lonely nights, and puberty, and you have a perfect recipe for a sudden
full-blown fall-and-fall-hard take-my-everything I’ve-found-the-one raging hormone driven crush.
That’s the other thing -- Stephen is just very, very hormonal. I mean, sure, it’s more complicated
than that. He’s a brooding artist and “unique” and what not. But I truly believe that a lot of Stephen’s
weird fantasies and depressive mood swings are because his body is going through changes, and
his cerebral judgement center is saturating in a brainy fluid pool of level-ten Romeo and Juliet
style hormones.
And we joke and we make light about these things sometimes, but if you’re unlucky enough to
“have it and have it bad” without reciprocation…..you in for a world of hurt. So lil’ tortured Stephen
should have our sympathies. Of course, we all have different upbringings and experience life and
growing in different ways, so it might be hard for some people to empathize with Stephen’s
predicament. I however am seeing myself in Stephen in more ways than I would like, and it’s
off-putting. Anyways. My point is, Stephen’s just a kid. Not a sexual predator. And what he’s going
through is much the same thing that countless others have gone through. The only thing “creepy”
about this situation is that Joyce actually acknowledged these feelings exist.
“have it and have it bad” without reciprocation…..you in for a world of hurt. So lil’ tortured Stephen
should have our sympathies. Of course, we all have different upbringings and experience life and
growing in different ways, so it might be hard for some people to empathize with Stephen’s
predicament. I however am seeing myself in Stephen in more ways than I would like, and it’s
off-putting. Anyways. My point is, Stephen’s just a kid. Not a sexual predator. And what he’s going
through is much the same thing that countless others have gone through. The only thing “creepy”
about this situation is that Joyce actually acknowledged these feelings exist.
This makes a lot of sense. I think people have to go through weird cringey phases as children to become the best possible versions of ourselves when we come out the other end. Yeah, Stephen is a little weirdo now, but I'd bet learning from this phase will make him a more interesting artist. He's being the sweaty little perv that will become a fascinating adult (I assume). people contain multitudes.
ReplyDeleteWell-said! I commend Joyce for giving the reader full access to Stephen's thoughts (anything less would be a form of censorship, in my opinion). I'm struggling with how much to sympathize with/judge Stephen for these thoughts. The blog post I published last week is basically arguing the opposite view of this one. The problem is, I understand both sides! Perhaps we'll be able to make a more definitive decision once (if?) we see Stephen interact with women as an adult.
ReplyDeleteThere is a sort of transparent honesty in A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man that makes it unlike any other book I have ever read. We get, with no filter, all of Stephen's thoughts in particular moments in his life and how it clouds his judgement and perception of his world. It's easy for us as the readers to criticize him for his thoughts - but they are, at the end of the day, just thoughts. He doesn't act on all of them, and for his worse ones, I think it's fair for us to give him the benefit of doubt and assume he wouldn't act on them. We have literal control over our own thought processes, and I think we all often have thoughts or ideas that we would never act on or wish to be true, but they come to us unbidden. He is, after all, almost always the perfect student and a well-behaved kid -- with the occasional visit to the brothel. It begs the question - what defines us as human beings, our thoughts or our actions?
ReplyDelete